HE SEEMED NICE…

From my book, Be Safe; Self Defense For Women In The Real World

There have been so many women after an attack who have stated “but he seemed so nice.” It is only later, when they have time to analyze, that they realize they had an “uneasy” feeling about the attacker. The “uneasy” feeling is called intuition. We as humans alone justify ignoring intuition. We think things like “I’ll seem rude” or “I can’t live in fear” or “I’m just being silly, he seems nice.” Animals don’t do this. If they have even a remote feeling that something is wrong, they run! Can you imagine how many fewer deer there would be if they sat around thinking “I’ve been eating here everyday for a month, nothing has gone wrong, I’m just being silly with this uneasy feeling.” How many less rabbits if they thought “I can’t live in fear. He seems like a perfectly nice fox. I can’t appear rude.” No animal ever thinks “it’s probably nothing.” We have a lot to learn from creatures that always follow intuition! Listen to yourself every time. The root word of intuition is “tuere” which means “to guard, to protect.” Intuition is knowing without knowing why we know. Our brain is miraculous, it picks up things subconsciously that we don’t think we notice. It picks up facial signals that last a fraction of a fraction of a second…picks up words that are said that we didn’t really listen to. Always remember that intuition is 1) always a response to something and 2) always looking out for your safety.

The scumbag seems so nice because nice works. Nice has been perfected. He knows nice will get him what he wants. Gavin DeBecker in his must read book THE GIFT OF FEAR states “Remember, the nicest guy, the guy with no self-serving agenda whatsoever, the one who wants nothing from you, WON’T APPROACH YOU AT ALL. You are not comparing the man who approaches you to all men, the vast majority of whom have no sinister intent. Instead, you are comparing him to other men who make unsolicited approaches to women alone, or to other men who don’t listen when you say no.”

The scumbags have a plan. They are good at the plan. The plan has worked for them many times. If you know the plan you can see it when it is being used on you. The nice guy things he does all have a reason. The following things are what to look for and to recognize.
–He makes it sound like you are part of a team with him. He uses “we” a lot. “We seem to be abandoned by our friends,” “We are in the same predicament,” “Now we’ve done it,” etc. He knows that this is hard to rebuff without you feeling like you’re being rude. Notice when this happens and realize that it is always done for self serving reasons and that it is always inappropriate for a stranger to talk this way to a woman who is alone.
-He is going out of his way to be charming and nice. A smile is the most used way to mask emotions in the world! Nice does not equal good, ever. Nice is a strategy, not a trait we’re born with. Charm is the same in that it is a strategy. When someone is using charm don’t think “He is really charming” but think “he is trying to charm me, why?”
-He will give you too much info. Instead of saying something like “I’m just waiting on a friend” he may say “I’m just waiting on a friend. The guy is always running late. Shoot, just last week….” When you or I are telling the truth we don’t feel like we have to use extra info to back up what we are saying. When someone is lying it may sound credible to us but it doesn’t sound that way to them, so they keep talking. Always remember that whoever this yappy, charming person is they approached a strange woman who is alone!
-He will put you on the defensive so that you have to prove yourself. He may say “oh, I guess you’re a rich snob who doesn’t talk to us commoners” so that you will prove to him that you are a good person by talking. Again, think about why a stranger would say such a thing to a woman who is alone.
-He’ll do something for you. Buy a drink, pick up something for you, help you with a heavy load, anything so that you may subconsciously think you owe him. Always be thinking “he approached me” and “I didn’t ask for any help.” Nice is an act!
-Not listening to the word NO. This is a biggie that is common sense, and we ignore it. If he asks if he can grab that package you dropped and you say “no” and he picks it up anyhow and says something like “well, I can’t leave a lady in such a predicament, etc.” we may think that he’s just being nice. We ignore the fact that we said “no” and he didn’t listen. The problem is we’ll say “no” several times, and it gets a little weaker ever time. We might as well just say “I’m a victim and you can control me” when we do this!
-He will say “I promise.” “I’ll just carry this to your car and leave, I promise.” Why do we fall for this? Do you go around saying “I promise” all the time? Promises are used to convince us of intention. Think “why does he need to convince me of intention?” when you hear this word.

A stranger who approaches a woman while she is alone may be a good person, but probably not. A good person doesn’t approach a woman when she is alone, we know it scares her. Always, always keep in mind that anyone who does approach you is a major danger and that charm, niceness, etc. are the weapons he is using to harm you. BE SAFE!

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HE SEEMED SO NICE…

From my book, Be Safe; Self Defense For Women In The Real World

There have been so many women after an attack who have stated “but he seemed so nice.” It is only later, when they have time to analyze, that they realize they had an “uneasy” feeling about the attacker. The “uneasy” feeling is called intuition. We as humans alone justify ignoring intuition. We think things like “I’ll seem rude” or “I can’t live in fear” or “I’m just being silly, he seems nice.” Animals don’t do this. If they have even a remote feeling that something is wrong, they run! Can you imagine how many fewer deer there would be if they sat around thinking “I’ve been eating here everyday for a month, nothing has gone wrong, I’m just being silly with this uneasy feeling.” How many less rabbits if they thought “I can’t live in fear. He seems like a perfectly nice fox. I can’t appear rude.” No animal ever thinks “it’s probably nothing.” We have a lot to learn from creatures that always follow intuition! Listen to yourself every time. The root word of intuition is “tuere” which means “to guard, to protect.” Intuition is knowing without knowing why we know. Our brain is miraculous, it picks up things subconsciously that we don’t think we notice. It picks up facial signals that last a fraction of a fraction of a second…picks up words that are said that we didn’t really listen to. Always remember that intuition is 1) always a response to something and 2) always looking out for your safety.

The scumbag seems so nice because nice works. Nice has been perfected. He knows nice will get him what he wants. Gavin DeBecker in his must read book THE GIFT OF FEAR states “Remember, the nicest guy, the guy with no self-serving agenda whatsoever, the one who wants nothing from you, WON’T APPROACH YOU AT ALL. You are not comparing the man who approaches you to all men, the vast majority of whom have no sinister intent. Instead, you are comparing him to other men who make unsolicited approaches to women alone, or to other men who don’t listen when you say no.”

The scumbags have a plan. They are good at the plan. The plan has worked for them many times. If you know the plan you can see it when it is being used on you. The nice guy things he does all have a reason. The following things are what to look for and to recognize.
–He makes it sound like you are part of a team with him. He uses “we” a lot. “We seem to be abandoned by our friends,” “We are in the same predicament,” “Now we’ve done it,” etc. He knows that this is hard to rebuff without you feeling like you’re being rude. Notice when this happens and realize that it is always done for self serving reasons and that it is always inappropriate for a stranger to talk this way to a woman who is alone.
-He is going out of his way to be charming and nice. A smile is the most used way to mask emotions in the world! Nice does not equal good, ever. Nice is a strategy, not a trait we’re born with. Charm is the same in that it is a strategy. When someone is using charm don’t think “He is really charming” but think “he is trying to charm me, why?”
-He will give you too much info. Instead of saying something like “I’m just waiting on a friend” he may say “I’m just waiting on a friend. The guy is always running late. Shoot, just last week….” When you or I are telling the truth we don’t feel like we have to use extra info to back up what we are saying. When someone is lying it may sound credible to us but it doesn’t sound that way to them, so they keep talking. Always remember that whoever this yappy, charming person is they approached a strange woman who is alone!
-He will put you on the defensive so that you have to prove yourself. He may say “oh, I guess you’re a rich snob who doesn’t talk to us commoners” so that you will prove to him that you are a good person by talking. Again, think about why a stranger would say such a thing to a woman who is alone.
-He’ll do something for you. Buy a drink, pick up something for you, help you with a heavy load, anything so that you may subconsciously think you owe him. Always be thinking “he approached me” and “I didn’t ask for any help.” Nice is an act!
-Not listening to the word NO. This is a biggie that is common sense, and we ignore it. If he asks if he can grab that package you dropped and you say “no” and he picks it up anyhow and says something like “well, I can’t leave a lady in such a predicament, etc.” we may think that he’s just being nice. We ignore the fact that we said “no” and he didn’t listen. The problem is we’ll say “no” several times, and it gets a little weaker ever time. We might as well just say “I’m a victim and you can control me” when we do this!
-He will say “I promise.” “I’ll just carry this to your car and leave, I promise.” Why do we fall for this? Do you go around saying “I promise” all the time? Promises are used to convince us of intention. Think “why does he need to convince me of intention?” when you hear this word.

A stranger who approaches a woman while she is alone may be a good person, but probably not. A good person doesn’t approach a woman when she is alone, we know it scares her. Always, always keep in mind that anyone who does approach you is a major danger and that charm, niceness, etc. are the weapons he is using to harm you. BE SAFE!

BE SAFE! SELF DEFENSE FOR WOMEN IN THE REAL WORLD!

This week’s blog is an exert from my new book, BE SAFE, SELF DEFENSE FOR WOMEN IN THE REAL WORLD. This is basically a shameless plug for the book now available on Amazon, hope ya don’t mind!!

http://www.amazon.com/Be-Safe-Defense-Women-World/dp/1463692315/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311096289&sr=1-1

There is so much crap out there passing for women’s self defense!! First and foremost, why do most systems insist on teaching women different techniques than men? We believe that if it isn’t something that we would teach men it isn’t worth knowing. The “wet your pants to be too gross” or the “walk with your keys between your fingers” or the ever popular “say you have AIDS” and the “carry a whistle” isn’t ever told to men…..it should be ignored by women!! “But women are weaker and smaller than men” is the usual comeback. My thought is that a female grizzly, tiger or shark may indeed be weaker and smaller than the male but I don’t want to mess with any of them….especially if there are cubs involved!! Here is one place where size truly doesn’t matter…..attitude and fearing the crime more than you fear injury is what matters. A cat weighs 6 or 7 pounds but I’ve seen muscle heads let go of one in a hurry when it gets terrified and starts clawing! In Krav Maga we teach the same techniques, the same combatives, the same philosophy and the same tactics to women and men. Can a 100 pound woman punch as hard as a 200 pound man? She can if he is punching with only his arm and she is turning her whole 100 pounds into the punch. If they both have the technique down and punch with all their weight using proper leverage the man will hit harder of course but the woman is still hitting hard enough to do damage!

Martial arts for women’s self defense? Choose wisely. Most martial arts are a piece of the puzzle. They were developed by their originators to overcome specific problems. There is a martial art that was developed for warriors on a battlefield who find themselves without a weapon, there is one that was developed for unarmed peasants to be able to use farm implements against mounted and armored soldiers, etc. True story: I was a fourth degree black belt in Taekwondo. During my martial arts career I spent hundreds of hours practicing techniques in a horse stance (a mild squat). When I found out that the history of taekwondo’s horse stance was so that peasants who couldn’t afford horses could still pretend that they were on a horse and practice the techniques in hope of joining the military someday…..i was torqued at all that wasted time!! There are few martial arts that were designed for a woman to fight off an assault as their main emphasis. Furthermore, the most common way for a rapist to move a female from public to a secondary crime scene is to show a weapon and demand she obey. Would one of the militaristic martial arts which demand “yes, sir” and obedience every time the “Master” gives a command be good training for women in the real world?
There are so many “experts” in the field of self defense for women that it is easy to be confused. Do not ever go against your own common sense or experience on the word of an “expert” or with the majority’s opinion. Back in the 60’s an “expert” was telling women to carry around large hat pins to defend themselves. One poor old lady had her purse snatched and as the criminal was turning to run with the purse she remembered that expert advice and took out her pin and stabbed him with it. He promptly turned around and punched her in the face, breaking her jaw. Some advice!!

Whatever system or techniques are learned it all comes down to attitude. SGT Sanford Strong in his book Strong on Defense (a must read for women’s self defense) flatly states “Surviving violence is all about mental toughness.” He goes on to talk about mind setting and accepting that you will be injured (past blog topics) “Break fear and fight back by 1) decide what you fear most, injury or being controlled by the criminal. Accept injury as the price you pay to escape. 2) mind set and visualize ahead of time. Focus on escape, not on what he is saying or doing.”
Why Krav? Krav Maga doesn’t blow smoke about it’s practitioners not being hurt or having “never fail” techniques. We mind set in our class drills preparing for violence. We make you exhausted and mentally tired during our drills. We teach techniques that will give you a fighting chance but mainly we teach attitude!! Swing for the fences, the bad guy is going down, I don’t stop til you’re unconscious ATTITUDE!!

A LITTLE MORE WOMEN’S SELF DEFENSE ADVICE

I have been speaking with a fellow blogger, KravLady, about this past December’s “But he seemed so nice” blog. She has some good questions and I love getting a women’s perspective on this stuff because ladies think of things that I don’t because I can’t relate to their situation. No guy can really relate so ladies, that dad, brother or significant other who teases you about being so cautious and tells you that you are paranoid…love them but ignore them! They would take a bullet for you but they are doing you no favors with that attitude. I have heard a quote in a few different places now that should give us men something to think about…”deep down men are afraid women will laugh at them. Deep down women are afraid men will kill them.”

In Krav we’re all about smacking someone who needs smacked (after we have looked to get away of course). KravLady’s question was when smacking isn’t justified yet, how do we handle a situation? For example, he is being nice but even after you have made it apparent that you don’t want him walking with you he still does. He isn’t being a threat but you feel uncomfortable. She even made the comment that she was maybe being too paranoid.

There is no such thing as being too paranoid. Look at my past blog on “listening to yourself” or even better read Malcolm Gladwell’s book BLINK. Our brains pick things up that we don’t realize. If we are feeling uncomfortable there is a reason. We don’t know why but there is a reason we are feeling that way. By the time we figure it out it may be too late so just listen! When an animal gets even a whiff of something out of place they run. An animal in nature never stands there thinking “I am just being paranoid”. Paranoid saves their lives!

Guys know that they make women feel uncomfortable. A decent guy will back off if they see a female is nervous about him. When we get on an elevator and there is a female already on we will go as far to the opposite side of the elevator as possible. When we approach a lady from behind on a sidewalk because we are walking faster we go as far to the opposite side of the sidewalk as we can. When a guy isn’t doing these things your brain tells you something isn’t right. Don’t think that you are being paranoid.

She talked about a guy who kept walking with her after she made it pretty apparent that she didn’t want him to. She didn’t want to appear rude (she even mentioned that she was raised to be polite) so she didn’t make a scene. Scum Bags are counting on you being polite and not wanting to make a scene. I told her to flat out say “I do not want you walking with me”. If he is a stranger and you appear rude, so what. He is a stranger and will have forgotten about you five minutes later. If he still doesn’t listen get loud and belligerent, tell him to get away from you. Is this rude? Maybe, but if you are right being rude is way better than being a victim.

A lot of Scum Bags are just trying you to see how they can control you. They are master manipulators and have perfected the art. If you are at a party and he asks if you want a drink and you say “no” and he hands you one anyway he could well be testing you. If you’re “no” didn’t really mean “no” and you take the drink you are what he is looking for. In the case where he keeps walking with you after you asked him not to he is showing himself, in my opinion. To ignore you or argue with you about it or to get angry shows that his intentions weren’t good. It’s time to get loud and belligerent and, if that doesn’t work, it’s time to run or go all Krav on the idiot! BE SAFE!

DO YOU LOOK LIKE A VICTIM?

The next time you are at the mall, restaurant, bar, your workplace or any crowded area do this little exercise. Look at the crowd like a predator would. If you needed money right now with the least risk to yourself who would you go after, how and why? Guess what, there are people in nearly every crowd that you are in looking at you the same way! We need to train ourselves to see what they are seeing. So look around and figure out who has money, who looks distracted, who looks weak, who looks timid. Look for things like posture, who is by themselves, who looks overwhelmed, who looks scared or who looks too drunk to put up a fight. Furthermore, who can you get close to? Start looking for the unsupervised child (shocking and sad how many you will see), the frazzled mom of a toddler, the elderly by themselves.

Now look around at who you wouldn’t mess with. We automatically think of the big, muscular man but how about the confident woman who isn’t texting or on her phone but is looking you in the eye? You will be able to pick up on who is confident, aware and believe in themselves!

Now, of course, decide which one you are closest to…..and get yourself to the “don’t mess with them” group! When you are out, pay attention! It amazes me how many of us don’t do this. We are on our phones, engrossed in conversation, sitting at a diner looking down at our food and basically oblivious to our surroundings. In our Krav Maga classes we talk about things like this. We notice as members are with us for awhile they become different people. Not only do they pay more attention as they become more knowledgeable about violence but as they learn to defend themselves and get into much better shape their whole personality moves towards the “don’t mess with me” group!

Other things to think about to be in the “don’t mess with me” group are:
-as soon as you get into a restaurant or bar scan the crowd and look for who you think could be trouble, know the exits and sit close to one with your back to a wall facing the front door.
-When at the mall, etc. walk around with your head up, looking at people. It’s amazing how many people don’t do this! Stay off your friggin phone! How many really important texts do you send in a day? Quit doing this in public!!
-when driving keep the windows up and door locked and look around. Again, the phone is a no no! Keep your head on a swivel.
-Drunk is for your buddies house, not out in public. Drunks at bars couldn’t be an easier target!
-Ladies, A lot of predators in crowds will “accidentally” touch you inappropriately to see what the reaction will be. Those who stay quiet because they don’t want to make a scene are exactly the ones he is looking for. Make a scene! Yell “do that again and I break your face” loudly and firmly!
-We were all told by our mamas not to be rude…..we are no longer kids. Quit caring if you come off as rude! When a stranger approaches you and wants to start a conversation or ask a question do what I do, put your hands in front of you palms out (a ready stance) make eye contact and say “no”. This is pretty rude and maybe they really did have a question but i’ve noticed the ones who make a big deal and talk about how rude you are are the ones you were right about. Think about it, how many strangers do you walk straight at and ask questions or try to start a conversation with? As I said in a previous blog aimed at females, don’t judge the stranger approaching you based on all the men you know (most of whom are good people) but judge him on the men who approach strange women in a parking lot to strike up a conversation (most of whom are scum bag pieces of crap)! Remember, charm is an act. Charm takes work. Nobody is born charming.

BE SAFE!

3,000 LB BLUNT OBJECT

We at the USKMA strive to teach safety and self defense for the real world. In the real world we spend a lot of time in a car. What can we do to be safe in our car? Read on!

We teach some way cool car jacking techniques for handgun disarms while seated in a car. We use the door frame, steering wheel, etc. to beat the bad guys hand against or to use for leverage. When we are teaching self defense in class we teach 1) don’t be there, 2) run, 3) pick up something to use as a weapon and 4) self defense techniques. The actual laying on of hands for self defense comes last. It’s the same with our carjacking weapon disarm techniques….these come so late in the game that we’ll rarely get to them.

First, when in a car, stay the heck out of bad places. A friend of mine had a family member jumped while driving. He was messed up pretty bad. That’s terrible but it was 3 a.m., he was in an area of town known for drug dealing and he was jamming his tunes with the windows down. I’d guess with even a little common sense he wouldn’t have been harmed. If in a strange town never, ever get off at a ramp to park and look at a map or call for directions. Thanks to GPS people don’t do this like we used to but many have been victims by parking somewhere they shouldn’t have been.

Second, use the car. What would you do in this scenario? You are stopped and members of a biker gang are approaching you from all sides. Do you lock the doors and hope they don’t mean real harm? Do you get out to talk? Go back to the previous blog on mind setting. You should have already thought about this scenario because you aren’t going to come up with a plan now. My plan? I am sitting in a 3,000 pound blunt object. I am flooring the gas and going through them. I didn’t start this and I assume I am about to lose my life….and all of my family members that are with me. Justified in my head!

Third, if someone jumps into my car with a weapon I jump out. No technique, no wrestling for the weapon. I jump out. If they are going to shoot me jumping out they were planning on shooting me anyhow. I might as well only give them one shot at a moving target! If I have my family with me? I use to those cool carjacking disarm techniques, get his weapon and beat his rear end!!

I have talked about never being moved to a secondary crime scene in past blogs. You are always in a lot more trouble if you allow yourself to be moved. He is taking you to a place of seclusion for a reason. You are way better off, if he is in the car forcing you to drive someplace and making it difficult for you to jump out, to crash your car. Aim for a tree, parked car, building, etc. The harm you and your family take in that crash is nothing compared to the harm he has in store for you. You have also just given him the choice of staying around to harm you or fleeing because there is now help on the way. Police and fire department resources get to auto accidents in just a few minutes. Other bystanders are rushing over to help. Another thing to like about this is that you and your family are belted in, the Scum Bags usually don’t take the time to do this!

Here is another scenario that needs to be pre planned for. Just because you are in a car and you see flashing police lights behind you doesn’t mean it’s a police officer. This has been done many times, especially to women. If you can’t see the police car (usually they have a spot light in your mirrors) don’t assume it’s the police. If the cop doesn’t look right or if you have any bad feeling at all it is always better to be safe than sorry. Yes, pull over but crack your window and simply tell the officer that you are afraid and need to know that he is a cop. A real officer should never be upset with a female who says this. The fake ones will scream and yell. Ask for a number to call to verify him or for the officer to lead you to a more public place. If he refuses I’d rather take my chances with a pissed off police officer than a Scumbag who wants to do me harm. I’m fleeing the scene. If it is a real cop I guarantee you that several cars will be chasing you within seconds! Will you be in trouble, yep. Does that beat what the bad guy had planned for you….yep!

Again, pre plan and mind set. People are car jacked, forced into cars and forced off the road every day. This stuff happens, we must have a plan. While planning think about simply jumping out and/or ramming something with your car! It is better to be in an accident then to be moved…always! BE SAFE!

BUT HE SEEMED SO NICE

There have been so many women after an attack who have stated “but he seemed so nice.” It is only later, when they have time to analyze, that they realize they had an “uneasy” feeling about the attacker. The “uneasy” feeling is called intuition. We as humans alone justify ignoring intuition. We think things like “I’ll seem rude” or “I can’t live in fear” or “I’m just being silly, he seems nice.” Animals don’t do this. If they have even a remote feeling that something is wrong, they run! Can you imagine how many fewer deer there would be if they sat around thinking “I’ve been eating here everyday for a month, nothing has gone wrong, I’m just being silly with this uneasy feeling.” How many less rabbits if they thought “I can’t live in fear. He seems like a perfectly nice fox. I can’t appear rude.” No animal ever thinks “it’s probably nothing.” We have a lot to learn from creatures that always follow intuition! Listen to yourself every time. The root word of intuition is “tuere” which means “to guard, to protect.” Intuition is knowing without knowing why we know. Our brain is miraculous, it picks up things subconsciously that we don’t think we notice. It picks up facial signals that last a fraction of a fraction of a second…picks up words that are said that we didn’t really listen to. Always remember that intuition is 1) always a response to something and 2) always looking out for your safety.

The scumbag seems so nice because nice works. Nice has been perfected. He knows nice will get him what he wants. Gavin DeBecker in his must read book THE GIFT OF FEAR states “Remember, the nicest guy, the guy with no self-serving agenda whatsoever, the one who wants nothing from you, WON’T APPROACH YOU AT ALL. You are not comparing the man who approaches you to all men, the vast majority of whom have no sinister intent. Instead, you are comparing him to other men who make unsolicited approaches to women alone, or to other men who don’t listen when you say no.”

The scumbags have a plan. They are good at the plan. The plan has worked for them many times. If you know the plan you can see it when it is being used on you. The nice guy things he does all have a reason. The following things are what to look for and to recognize.
–He makes it sound like you are part of a team with him. He uses “we” a lot. “We seem to be abandoned by our friends,” “We are in the same predicament,” “Now we’ve done it,” etc. He knows that this is hard to rebuff without you feeling like you’re being rude. Notice when this happens and realize that it is always done for self serving reasons and that it is always inappropriate for a stranger to talk this way to a woman who is alone.
-He is going out of his way to be charming and nice. A smile is the most used way to mask emotions in the world! Nice does not equal good, ever. Nice is a strategy, not a trait we’re born with. Charm is the same in that it is a strategy. When someone is using charm don’t think “He is really charming” but think “he is trying to charm me, why?”
-He will give you too much info. Instead of saying something like “I’m just waiting on a friend” he may say “I’m just waiting on a friend. The guy is always running late. Shoot, just last week….” When you or I are telling the truth we don’t feel like we have to use extra info to back up what we are saying. When someone is lying it may sound credible to us but it doesn’t sound that way to them, so they keep talking. Always remember that whoever this yappy, charming person is they approached a strange woman who is alone!
-He will put you on the defensive so that you have to prove yourself. He may say “oh, I guess you’re a rich snob who doesn’t talk to us commoners” so that you will prove to him that you are a good person by talking. Again, think about why a stranger would say such a thing to a woman who is alone.
-He’ll do something for you. Buy a drink, pick up something for you, help you with a heavy load, anything so that you may subconsciously think you owe him. Always be thinking “he approached me” and “I didn’t ask for any help.” Nice is an act!
-Not listening to the word NO. This is a biggie that is common sense, and we ignore it. If he asks if he can grab that package you dropped and you say “no” and he picks it up anyhow and says something like “well, I can’t leave a lady in such a predicament, etc.” we may think that he’s just being nice. We ignore the fact that we said “no” and he didn’t listen. The problem is we’ll say “no” several times, and it gets a little weaker ever time. We might as well just say “I’m a victim and you can control me” when we do this!
-He will say “I promise.” “I’ll just carry this to your car and leave, I promise.” Why do we fall for this? Do you go around saying “I promise” all the time? Promises are used to convince us of intention. Think “why does he need to convince me of intention?” when you hear this word.

A stranger who approaches a woman while she is alone may be a good person, but probably not. A good person doesn’t approach a woman when she is alone, we know it scares her. Always, always keep in mind that anyone who does approach you is a major danger and that charm, niceness, etc. are the weapons he is using to harm you. BE SAFE!