Hey, self defense instructor, do you realize when someone comes to you for training they are literally putting their lives in your hands? Knowing this when is the last time you;
-Changed anything that you teach? Do you think twenty years ago you came across a system that was so complete and perfect that nothing ever needs to be updated or changed? We change or tweak things monthly in Krav Maga.
-Attended training or a seminar in another system? You think you’ve got all the answers and anything else couldn’t possibly have anything worth learning?
-Studied techniques on the internet? Again, there are systems out there that I would never want to teach but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a useful technique that we can use.
-Incorporated cardio with your training? Fatigue makes cowards of us all. If we can get into shape and fight hard twice as long when attacked we are safer. Period.
-Studied real world violence? Studied home invasions, the effects of stress, the effects of the adrenaline dump, hostage situations, etc.? If you are just showing techniques and not putting them under any realism or realistic scenerios you are not doing all you can to keep your students safe.
-Talked to a cop? Ask them what’s going on in your town. Any specific attacks or crimes where you live? A cop is a weatlth of information.
-Signed up for google alerts? Every day i get news reports from across the country on knife violence, handgun violence and violent crimes. It makes me more aware of what is going on and makes me a better instructor.
-Questioned what you were taught? It’s easy to listen to an instructor who is an expert and teach and believe exactly what they taught or believed. Nobody is 100% correct about anything. Expand on what you were taught, don’t be trapped by it.
-Talked to your students about awareness? I believe that if my students had to use self defense they were recovering from stupidity or bad luck. Teaching people to be aware of their surroundings and to stay away from bad places saves more from trouble than any techniques will.
-Talked to your students about mind setting? When we find ourselves being violently attacked we will freeze unless we have a plan for the attack. If we had thought about that specific scenerio the plan and training will surface and we will act. Mind setting is planning ahead for any and all situations we can find ourselves in.
-Took a handgun course and recommended one to your students. If I were going to have to go against three knife weilding thugs I would much rather have had two hours of handgun training and a handgun than years of self defense training and be unarmed. Advice my students need to hear.
Again, your students are coming to you for training for when the unthinkable happens. The time they are in the worst situation ever, thier families safety is on the line and it’s do or die time. They are putting thier lives in your hands…you had better have given them with the best, most up to date, battle tested for real world violence training possilbe. BE SAFE!
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United States Krav Maga's Blog 
Hi
I was interested in this post in your comment on “mind setting”, and was involved recently in two separate incidents in nightclubs, of being groped by drunk men. I am a tall, confident woman, and my reaction to both these incidents was instinctive – I turned, and lashed out physically, once by slapping, and on the second occasion by pushing. I then went to the security men on the door and made a complaint and on both occasions, the men involved were removed from the club.
In the Krav Maga scheme of things – avoid, run, de-escalate etc, and also, with mind-setting, what is the best and safest way that a woman can prepare for these kind of situations, which are embarrassing, humiliating, and in my case, made me question myself – wondering if my response was, as some of my male and female friends felt, too aggressive, or if I had my my actions, placed myself in further danger?
thank you
i think you did the right thing, both with the slap/push and reporting to security. people can argue that ‘being in a bar’ and ‘alcohol involvement’ means you deserve what you get, but i absolutly disagree.
random groping -should- be responded to in like manner. i’m not sure if it’s in Mark’s book or Gavin De Becker that “when a man says ‘no’, it means ‘no’. when a woman says ‘no’, it’s open for negotiation”.
i’m glad you didn’t put up with the behavior.
Sounds like you did the right thing to me. I would want my wife or daughter to do what you did. They touched you, you smashed them! Predators are looking for someone who will be too embarrassed to make a scene. When they find someone who does nothing or freezes they know they have their victim. I advise to be loud and yell “get your hands off of me, scum bag” or to smack them and tell security. I’m proud of ya!!
If you didn’t read it the mindsetting blog is at; https://unitedstateskravmaga.wordpress.com/2011/09/10/mind-setting/
Also look up my old blog “but he seemed so nice”. It talks about this very thing.
I am sure to be disagreed with for this and I would never tell a woman to “not fight back” however I’m not sure this was a fight.
Assault is “knowingly cause or attempt to cause physical harm” A groping is not ‘Physical harm’ as defined by law. The slap is not a legal defense. By all means, post up and define your space by putting your hands between you and the person. Tell them you don’t want any more “attention” from them and tell the bouncers.
When you slap someone you better be ready for a fight. There are many men out there that will not hesitate to strike a woman. In fact a bouncer just told me the story of their fight they had on the dance floor. He grabbed her, She slapped him, he knocked her out. The whole dance floor erupted.
Avoid Violence at all cost and leave when you can. If you can get away and chose to stay around for the fight… It is not self defense, It’s called “mutual combatants.”
I am sure to be disagreed with for this but…
I would never tell a woman to “not fight back” however I’m not sure this was a fight. Assault is “knowingly cause or attempt to cause physical harm” A groping is not ‘Physical harm’ as defined by law. The slap is not a legal defense. By all means, post up and define your space by putting your hands between you and the person. Tell them you don’t want any more “attention” from them and tell the bouncers.
When you slap someone you better be ready for a fight. There are many men out there that will not hesitate to strike a woman. In fact a bouncer just told me the story of their fight they had on the dance floor. He grabbed her, She slapped him, he knocked her out. The whole dance floor erupted.
Avoid Violence at all cost and leave when you can. If you can get away and chose to stay around for the fight… It is not self defense, It’s called “mutual combatants.”
I dunno, Matt. If the guy was scum enough to punch a woman for slapping him what was he planning on doing when he grabbed her in the first place? Hopefully “the whole dance floor erupted” means he got his butt kicked. The “mutual combatants” is technically correct but i doubt a court (or cop) will look at a man smacking a woman for smacking him cuz he groped her as a mutual fight. I’d say he’ll be the one in trouble 99.9% of the time. Your points are valid but i still want my daughter to deck the scum bag!
I’m not condoning the behavior of a man groping a female. In fact it could be a criminal act. However when he groped her he wasn’t looking to “harm” her. The slap to the face is an escalation of force / violence not necessarily in line with a grope on the dance floor. Had this occurred in a dark parking lot with no one around and his van door left open I would say explode on the guy anything goes… But this is a dance floor.
Self defense is only defensible when all three are present; 1 you did not create the situation, 2 you fear physical harm, and 3 the attacker has shown that they intend to harm you. Anything less is violence and may not be considered self defense.
Yes, the entire dance floor kicked his ass.